Water, water, water...

All this rain has prompted me to think of the symbolism, meanings, and sayings related to water, and the various ways it makes us feel...

Meanings & Symbolism: Rebirth, cleansing, life, change, emotions, intuition...

Quotes & Sayings: "raining cats and dogs", "drowning in paperwork", "drowning in debt", "getting along swimmingly", "fish out of water", "don't make waves"...

How it makes us feel: Peaceful and serene, sad and lonely, happy...

Lately it feels like a few, ok all, of these apply to my life...

* I am undergoing lots of change in my life... I have been living in a fantastic place in Pasadena with two fantabulous (fantastic and fabulous, in case you needed a translation!) gals. The owner is now selling the condo. Eff. I still don't know what I'm going to do, and am trying not to panic... I hate hate hate moving. *sigh* Did I mention I hate moving?

* I would say ~ 55% of my days I feel I am drowning (mostly in paperwork - but also doggy paddling financially, just because I am not where I thought I'd be). Really, there are SO many people worse off than me (e.g., everyone in Haiti, abused people/animals, Somali refugees), but of course, as humans we tend to focus inward so much and on our own lives... So, I guess since I'm human, that's what happens sometimes!

* Also, I am still trying to figure out what changes need to be made to make me happy, as I can't remember the last time I was peaceful and serene... these include doing some cleansing of my body and mind. Ok, actually, my body is fairly cleansed - I just need to get back to my workouts, and continue to maintain balance in my diet! As for my mind, I guess it could use a little bit of a wash (ok, this word isn't in my list, but it fits with the theme!). Accordingly, I will get a better handle on my emotions, and try to "get along swimmingly" with as many people as possible. More importantly, when I can't get along with someone, I will stop wasting my time stressing over what went wrong. I used to try my hardest to not "make waves" and cause trouble for anyone else, but it was often at the expense of my own emotions or feelings. (Ok, actually, I am doing much better with this, but of course there's always room for improvement!). I may try "making waves" in a positive manner though! The last step to the emotional "laundering" is figuring out why I feel like a "fish out of water". Just about every time I vent/bitch/kvetch to Cath about these feelings, she reminds me that I'm not the only one who feels that way or has experienced whatever it is I'm experiencing. Of course she's right (she's a smartie-pants), and deep down I KNOW this, but I still have these sad and lonely feelings. Maybe it's because it has been a struggle meeting people (i.e., boy-type people)... maybe it's because I wish I was more extroverted in general... or a combination of the two, who knows... A few girls I know seem to meet new people easily (of course this is just my perception, so I could be wrong - see my earlier note about how humans focus on our own shit!). I'm jealous of this and I admit it. There have been a number of times with 4 or 5 girls hanging out (sometimes it happens with 2), and I feel isolated and the "extra wheel". It's not their fault - it's up to me to shake off these feelings and deal with it...

* Finally, I will follow my intuition - which unfortunately gets buried under those pesky emotions (when they get the better of me)!

Hopefully all this will create a "rebirth" of sorts...

Along with this water theme, here's a bit of writing from my college days:

Splash

We jumped in puddles

happy and carefree

TV our after-school parent

we watched our reflections on its face

distorted

changing to fit images

we're expected to be

Splash

We fell into those puddles

drowned

the carefree days washed away with the rain

washed away with bright yellow slickers and boots

lunchboxes with Snoopy

or Jem or Thundercats

rusting and wasting away

Splash

I still like yellow rain gear

Splash

I still love those old shows

Splash

I still play in puddles

Don't tell anyone

Well, it's "raining cats and dogs" and I should get back to the hockey game.

Now, a question... What's your favorite water-related story? dream?

Thanks for listening!